Little Guys
by VO1
Summary: Sticking all my challenge fics together so that I don't have to post like 300 new stories that are short. Ratings and topics vary, but knowing me they'll all contain bad language.
1. The Catch

**The Catch**

**Rated: M for language and innuendo**

This game is Super Bowl XLII, I have no fan affiliation with either team (Eagles fan) and I was mere witness to this event and stole a lot of dialogue from my bf's crazy football obsessed friends. I love you, Pats fan, but that was one hell of a catch!

* * *

The best she could hope for, Rei reasoned to herself as she popped the top off another bottle, was that she could keep drinking imported beer until this stupid game started to make even a hint of sense, and, by judging how the first half had gone, meant that she most likely would end up shitfaced and passing out, a state of being she would prefer over watching more of this pointless bullshit any longer.

Makoto had stayed with her, thank fuck, but the rest of the traitors had taken off to go shopping, Minako leading them out the door with the excuse that she needed "supplies" for later, feel free to read between the lines. Normally, Rei would jump on a weak excuse like that like white on rice and be out the door before she had both shoes on, but for some reason, some asinine reason, some ungodly, inhumane, callous reason, it was important for Jason for her to watch a this game with him. He had been talking about it for weeks.

Which was why she was stuck now, sitting on the floor between his legs, pounding down her third beer and wincing every now and then when something would happen, she had no fucking clue what, and he would move and pull her hair or kick her in the side. He couldn't stay still under the best of circumstances, and the minute this game had gone on all of his self-control and brain cells seemed to fly out the window.

Makoto sat on one end of Mamoru's couch, her head on her hand as she sat next to Noah, who was sitting at the very edge of his seat, his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. Jason sat above her at the other end. Mamoru had pulled a chair from somewhere and sat near the edge of his couch. Kevin had captured the recliner early, his Patriots cap pulled down low across his forehead and smug expression on his face. He was being called every four-letter word in the book at least once a minute since the opening kickoff.

Rei threw her bottle back and nearly choked when Jason nearly leaped over her, and the room erupted in noise. Kevin started laughing, deep and loud.

Zach, who hadn't sat down yet, kicked the edge of the couch. "Fucking PI!"

"Hey, watch the couch," Mamoru said loudly, trying to make himself heard above the noise.

Jason was livid. "Pierce, you worthless shit, just fucking kill yourself and save me the trouble of going to New York, finding you and killing you myself. "

It had been like this all afternoon. Rei rolled her eyes and grabbed a napkin, wiped her face, and tried to remember what a "PI" was.

Makoto saved her that trouble. "What happened?"

"You can't interfere with the receiver before he has the ball," Noah explained. "It's illegal contact and they spot the ball on the—oh nice, thank you stupid. Now the Pats are up. Shut up Kevin."

"I didn't say anything."

"You're thinking it. Fuck you, you cocky asshole. Take your undefeated season and shove it up your ass."

Kevin simply shrugged his shoulders, struggling to keep his smile down.

It must have started to get more interesting in the second half, Rei realized, only because the intensity of the screaming was louder, the insults angrier, and the empty green bottles were starting to make quite an impressive pile on Mamoru's coffee table. The majority of the wrath was directed at Bell-someone, who apparently was the coach or manager or something, and had decided not to score points by kicking the ball somewhere, and the cute player with the cleft chin, whom Zach took particular pleasure in mocking whenever he was tackled by a player on the opposing team.

"Argh!" Jason screamed behind her again. "They're going for it on fourth and one!"

Something was happening, Rei noticed, because now even Kevin was leaning forward, holding his breath.

"INTERCEPTION!"

"No!" Zach was standing practically inches from the television screen. "They called it incomplete!"

"Show the replay!" Noah shouted at the screen. Rei wondered if any of them realized that no one on the television could hear them.

Maybe this was getting interesting. She completely chalked it up to her raised blood alcohol level, but all of the tension that choked the room was getting her kind of excited. She turned her body and looked up at Jason. "Can I cheer now, too?"

"Not yet." His left leg hammered out a nervous beat. She shrugged and took another drink.

The snap. "Manning!" Zach was jumping. "Holy shit, holy shit, oh fuck he's sacked, no way oh shit, OH MY GOD, nice spin! HE'S OUT!"

"Throw!"

The roar was deafening. Jason didn't even try to be gentle as he jumped to his feet and started pointing and screaming. Noah pounded poor Makoto on the leg, laughing hysterically and screaming. Zach grabbed his hair with both hands and paced the floor, screaming. Kevin sat motionless, his arms crossed over his chest, looking like someone had just stomped a puppy to death in front of him.

"Did you see that fucking—how the hell did he stay up? Thomas had his jersey!" Zach bellowed.

"On his helmet! Kevin, did you see that? ON HIS HELMET!"

"Good catch. Great fucking catch. What a fucking catch. Fifty-nine seconds. Oh my God, what a catch."

"Tyree, if you were a woman, I'd fuck you." Makoto shot him a look. "Sorry, hon."

Everyone was standing, so Rei jumped up and did the same, and nearly ate it as the blood rushed to her head. "Come on, D!" Kevin spoke for the first time in a while, wringing a throw pillow like a limp rag.

Jason grabbed Rei's hands and squeezed, whispering, "Come on, come on…"

Rei thought her eardrums would explode as four male voices screamed "TOUCHDOWN!" in unison, although one voice added a "FUCK!" while the others merely shrieked with hysterical laughter. Kevin spiked the pillow as hard as he could off of the floor, prompting Mamoru to remind him not to punch a hole in the wall.

"You can cheer now!" Jason yelled.

"Yay!" she shouted, raising her bottle. Kevin sunk into his seat, his expression caught between murderous rage and abject despair.

Zach was screaming in his face. "Oh my God, fuck your perfect season and your stupid cheating coach and your pretty boy QB right in the hole! GOD! What a game! That was so incredible!"

Noah was still laughing. "Oh, Eli, I'll never refer to you as the 'shitty Manning' ever again!"

Makoto went over to Kevin's chair and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Want a sandwich?"

"I want a gun with a single bullet it in."

Mamoru left and returned from the kitchen with an unopened bottle of Crown Royale. He handed it to Kevin. "Here, this should be enough to erase the last four hours of your short-term memory."

Well, it was kind of fun, Rei thought to herself as Jason grabbed her in a bear hug, one hand sneaking a grab at her behind. She had absolutely no idea what was going on the entire time; the game was confusing, it stopped too much and had too many rules, but it was fun to watch Kevin's overconfidence deflate like a week-old helium balloon that had been stomped on by spiked boots, and watching the players chase the guy with the ball, and cheering when something went right.

She plunked down her sixth beer and admitted that alcohol had made all the difference in her renewed attitude towards American football. How embarrassing. Jason holding her tight to him now, kissing at her neck and pressing his face against her own. She ran a hand through his blond hair, breathing in his scent. Maybe it was time for them to head home and have their own post-Super Bowl party.

The front door opened; the girls were back. "What's going on?" Ami said, noticing that Zach was sitting inches away from the TV again, watching post game recaps.

Minako came in behind her, holding an Agent Provocateur bag. Rei crossed the room and took it from her. "Sorry, hon," she said, pointing at the man slumped dejectedly in his chair. "You're not going to need this tonight." She sat back on Jason's lap and started rifling through the bag. "I'll put it to good use for you."


	2. Too Drunk to Asterik

**Too Drunk to Asterik**

**Rated: R for language and innuendo and...dick joke**

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**

"Just so we're clear." Rei knew her voice was too loud for his…delicate condition at the moment, but right now she was so far from caring that she was practically in another dimension. "Last night, you were too drunk to fuck. And now, you're too hung over." She ripped open the blinds, so that the hard sunlight seared into the room like a brush fire. Jadeite groaned and pulled the sheets over his head.

"I didn't even get a kiss!" She hissed. "Everyone else got a kiss, hell, even Ami got a grope, but I just stood there like a lump at midnight while you puked in the bushes!"

"I did fifteen shots," he groaned from inside of his cocoon. "What did you expect?"

She snorted. "I didn't expect you to be stupid enough to go shot for shot with Nephrite. He has a much higher tolerance than you do."

"I know that, now." He tried to move sideways, made a soft retching noise, and gave up. "I'm never drinking again."

Rei was incredulous. "What, is that your New Year's resolution? Please, that's such crap. You say that all the time, and everyone knows that you're bullshitting. And not just you. Minako 'quits' drinking at least four times a year."

"No."

"No what?"

A tangle of blond hair poked out of the covers and lifted as far as its owner would allow, which really wasn't far at all. "My resolution isn't to never drink again."

"Obviously."

He coughed. "It's to never again drink so much that I can't fuck."

Rei couldn't think of anything to say, so she stood there with her arms crossed.

"It's just not fair to you."

"Damn right," she said, straightening her spine as she stalked out of the room. "I'll be back when you can get it up!"

"Oh Goddess," he mumbled. "Give me at least a couple of hours."


	3. She Told Me To Come

**Title: She Told Me To Come, But I Was Already There**

**Rating: R, almost NC17**

Posted at sm_monthy, theme for this one was "Striptease"

The amount of cheesy 80s hair metal that I listened to while writing this is frightening. My google cache now has "stripper music" it in.

* * *

The persons responsible for the initial design of the Moon Palace were long since dust in their graves, their names lost to time and shoddy record keeping, but their creation remained standing tall for centuries. The columns still stood: the impressive main tower where the Queen resided with her daughter, the four smaller towers that housed the planetary princesses, the immaculate gardens, and the artificial lake. Every paving stone and light post was designed with the highest aesthetic in mind.

Which made it even more baffling why they would screw this up so royally.

Which really, it didn't matter much; it was but a minor detail in the grand schematic, and if Mars hadn't lifted her head at that exact moment, the design flaw probably would have gone unnoticed for another century.

She had just finished dressing after a hard training session, electing to shower in the gymnasium bathhouse instead of stinking like sweat and burnt ash all the way back to her tower. She bent over at the waist to tie her hair up, and when she straightened, she saw that the farthest window on the right gave a perfect view of one of the illuminated bedrooms in the guest tower.

The guest tower that was currently housing the Prince of Earth, and his four guardians. One of which was unbuttoning his jacket right in front of the window, unaware that he was being watched.

Mars froze, afraid to take a breath.

She had only spoken to him briefly, the one who could change his appearance at will, and served frequently as the body double of Prince Endymion. He had shown her his illusion, which was astonishing enough, and then explained how complicated it could be, having to change your mannerisms, walk, and vocabulary to make the deception believable. He was good: he had the Moon Princess going for a quite awhile before the real Endymion appeared and broke the act.

"Can you do me?" she had blurted, before she realized that that particular combination of words wasn't very prudent. The Princess had started giggling, and Mars made a hasty exit before he could see her blush.

But right now, he was in his natural form, guard down, fumbling with his buttons with one hand and rubbing his face down with the other, clearly exhausted.

It was the way he scrunched his face when he rubbed it that did it for her; she couldn't stop watching him. She felt herself move towards the window, and leaned against the pane. He was twenty, maybe thirty feet away.

He looked up.

Her breath caught in her throat.

For a moment, neither moved. Mars was already thinking frantically how she could retreat while keeping some of her dignity, but a small motion on his end stopped her.

His mouth formed a single word: _hi_.

She didn't know how she did it, but she returned it. _Hi_.

They both stood still, watching each other, waiting for the next cue.

Earlier that day, Mars had watched Jupiter toss her stunning curls over her shoulder as she bent to adjust the strap of her shoe, the spirals cascading next to her face, and had lifted her eyes just in time to catch the gaze of another of Endymion's guardians, the really tall one with dark hair, as he walked with his prince across the courtyard. She had smiled, barely, as she straightened, and tossed her hair back into place, her face flushed from bending over.

He had missed a step, and grabbed the Prince's arm to keep from tripping.

Mars wondered if she could make a man stumble with a single look.

No better time than the present to find out. She lifted her chin.

His eyes darted to his hand, blonde eyebrows knotted together. She had unnerved him, and repeated the gesture.

His brows shot up now, comically, as his eyes widened. He hesitated, swallowing hard.

Growing impatient, she raised one white arm and pointed at his left hand, poised at his collar, and brought her finger down.

His grin broke through like the Earthlight through the artificial clouds. Slowly, he undid the next button.

She used a talent that she typically kept hidden: raising one eyebrow while shaking her head slowly.

He popped another button.

A small laugh escaped her, and she pressed a hand to her mouth, wondering where this impulse had come from. Perhaps if she hadn't seen how adorably his face crinkled when he rubbed it, making him look much younger than he was, or the single syllable that his lips formed across the distance, she wouldn't be encouraging him this way. How far were they going to take this? Goddess, this was insane. It wasn't her.

But she hadn't been in control this entire time.

Another button. She placed both hands on the windowsill and leaned forward.

Last button. He looked to her for direction. _Now what?_

She tossed her head backwards. _Take it off._

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, he pulled one of his shoulders out, then the other, and tossed the jacket aside. He didn't continue.

He mouthed another word. _You._

The rush that flooded her body couldn't be compared to anything humanly possible; she imagined this was how it felt to tumble over a waterfall, exhilarating and terrifying and powerless to do anything but turn your face to the sky and enjoy the ride.

However, she wasn't wearing much: the simple day dress with a sash, no jewelry or shoes, nothing in her hair save for a bit of ribbon holding it up. All she could do was reach up, slowly, everything had to be slow, and run two fingers along her shoulder, and drop one of the straps. When she caught his eye again, her expression was challenging.

He was shaking his head. She closed her eyes momentarily and shrugged. He rubbed the back of his head, mussing his blond hair even further, stuttering into nervous laughter. She waited; it wasn't her fault he wore more layers.

He reached up and pulled his shirt over his head. Mars wished she were close enough to run her fingertips over the suntanned skin on his torso. Then she saw the scar.

Apparently, being Endymion's body double came with some occupational hazards.

He noticed her expression, and glanced down briefly at the starburst of scar tissue jackknifing across his side, then raised one shoulder. _It's nothing._

She shook her head. _That's not nothing._

His response was to simply cock his head.

Another strap fell, and he rolled his eyes and gave a heaving sigh. At this rate, he would be naked long before her.

Mars bit her lower lip and smiled.

He was laughing at her as he unbuckled his belt and threw it to the floor. It was only fair that she did the same, untying the sash around her waist and letting it fall. There was very little now that kept her dress up.

He blinked.

She pulled the ribbon from her hair, letting it fall across her shoulders. The Princess had shown her a spell to make the ends wave, which she employed as she ran her fingers through her hair, rolling her shoulders back and letting her eyes drop shut. She had seen Venus do this, inadvertently, and the entire Earth entourage had pretty much stopped speaking and breathing until she was finished.

She wound a lock of dark hair around her index finger, patiently waiting for him to continue.

His gaze was penetrating as he stared at her, never breaking contact as he reached down and unbuckled his trousers. She leaned on the windowsill, folding her arms under her breasts, which were spilling out of her slackened straps. She nodded at him.

Where her movements were slow, his were quick. Within seconds, he stood naked in front of the window.

Mars couldn't look away as her mind raced. The expression on his face was different now; she wished she were in the same room as him now, to be close enough to taste the desire on his lips, to feel the heat of his skin. She would let him touch her everywhere that he could reach easily, and what he couldn't, she would help him. She would have him on his knees, and would grab his hair as he licked between her legs. She would test how long he could hold out before throwing her on her back and taking her. She wondered if his face would crinkle the same way when he came.

She turned her back, although the last thing she wanted to do right now was look away, and gently dropped the straps of her dress down, exposing her long pale back. A few fastenings to pull away, and the dress ghosted down her body and puddled to the floor. Despite it being a comfortable temperature, and the moon having no wind currents, her skin broke into goose bumps as she stood naked, her heart pounding a beat that she felt all the way up her neck.

Her shoulder broke through her hair first, and then she slowly turned, closing her eyes and raising her arms to pull her hair up. She posed that way for a moment, tilting her head back to expose her neck, hyper aware that he could see her now, all of her, and that she wanted him to.

She opened her eyes.

And nearly fainted when she saw him completely turned around and frantically gesturing and shouting at the two new occupants of the room: the dark-haired guardian that Jupiter had tripped up, and the younger blonde one, with the long hair and brilliant green eyes, both of who froze in place and gaped shamelessly when they saw her, eyes wide and mouths open.

Mars screamed and ducked behind the wall.

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, Endymion leaned over and elbowed Kunzite in the side, not even trying to be discrete. "Yesterday they were eye-fucking each other across the room, and now I think any minute now she's going to grab the butter knife and stab him in the heart. What happened?"

"Something," Kunzite replied tersely.

"Well, put your diplomat hat on. We're going to have to apologize on his behalf."

Kunzite watched Nephrite and Zoisite closely; for the last hour, they had remained silent with their heads down. Once in a while, Jadeite would pause in trying to get Mars's attention to glare at both of them.

At the other end of the table, Mars fumed silently as she watched the Prince and his first in command whisper to each other. Assholes. She had a pretty good guess at what they were conspiring about. The rest of her time at breakfast was spent ignoring Jadeite as he tried to catch her eye and shooting murderous daggers at the other two.

Venus shot her a "what the fuck?" look and shook her head. _Be nice._

Endymion sighed. "She looks mad at us, now."

"What did we do?"

"Who knows? Get ready."

They hung back as everyone cleared out. "Lady Mars," Endymion started. She turned. "A word?"

Her eyes narrowed as she closed the space between them, practically stomping. Endymion instinctively backed up a step. "Lady, I want—"

"I know what you want," she growled, hands on her hips. She reached up and yanked her dress down, flashing her breasts at the two stunned men. Endymion's jaw dropped, and Kunzite had enough poise to merely freeze like a statue, blinking stupidly at the half-naked woman in front of him. "Take a good look, get it out of your system! Now you've all seen me naked, are you happy now?" She pulled her straps back up and turned on her heel as she raged out of the room.

Jadeite jumped out from where had been hovering in the doorway. "What the hell did you say to her?"

Endymion closed his mouth so abruptly that his teeth clicked together. Kunzite shook his head as he searched for words. "We didn't—"

"Save it!" he shouted as he chased after the retreating woman.

Endymion waited until they were alone before speaking. "What the hell just happened?" Silence. "And is it wrong that I want it to happen again?"


	4. Nostalgia

**Title: Nostalgia**

**Written for sm_monthly theme: Bubblegum**

**Rated: PG-13 for language**

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* * *

  
**

For the long years that the world had been asleep, it had lost most of its human population, along with many once-common species of plants and animals, and a great deal of organic components that had fallen victim to natural biodegradation. There was, however, a lot of metal, foam, and plastic that had fulfilled its prophecy of being indestructible, and there was a lot of it to be found.

The Queen found a case of Mountain Dew that still had some fizz and flavor. She graciously volunteered to be the first test subject, and killed seven cans in two hours.

Jupiter found a bronze medal from the Mexico City Olympic games in the men's long jump underneath several inches of sand on the banks of the Nile. She kept it, never knowing exactly why.

Zoisite started a collection of plastic Starbucks cups that ended up numbering in the thousands, after which he destroyed them, disgusted.

Jadeite found a 1970 Pontiac GTO Judge in an underground concrete bunker, and spent the next year meticulously restoring it, crafting most of the engine parts himself, and using a metric ton of magic to get it running again. He named it "Pickford" and did not let anyone touch it without his careful supervision.

Every small discovery was significant, in small way, to someone, so they always brought their discoveries back to the palace, regardless of the object's value.

"Look what I found," Mercury announced in the King's office, interrupting a meeting with his guard.

"Is it edible?" Zoisite asked straightaway. He had been in the field the day they found the Mountain Dew, and they had forgotten to save him one. He hadn't gotten over it.

"Nope." She tossed the pack on the table. "Found it up in the Northeast today. Thought the former American schoolboys might like it."

Nephrite reached for it first, a boyish smile spreading across his features. "No shit!" He opened the cardboard pack, and pulled out one of the markers.

Endymion read the writing on the pack. "Mr. Sketch Scented Markers."

"Holy—" Zoisite snatched it up and dumped the markers out on the table. "I haven't seen these since I was a kid! Goddess, I swear I spent most of first grade high as a kite from huffing these things."

"Good find," Jadeite said, popping the top off of a blue marker and inhaling deeply. "Still smells. Blueberry." He inhaled again.

Mercury pulled up a chair and sat next to Zoisite, who tore a paper off Endymion's desk and started scribbling. "Thank you for this. These things used to be like, currency in my elementary school."

They spent a few minutes passing the markers around and inhaling the scents. Mercury and Endymion watched them silently, knowing their minds were back hundreds of years, in another time, and on another continent.

Kunzite chucked the brown one back to the center of the table. "Ugh. Why did they make the brown ones smell like cinnamon? It reminds me of that wicked disgusting fake cinnamon fluoride they used at the dentist."

"That crap was gross," Nephrite said, scribbling a yellow line down the scratch paper and bringing it to his nose. "I used to ask for the mint fluoride because it tasted like paste."

"Toothpaste?"

"No, regular paste." The circle of strange looks he received momentarily confused him. "What?"

Endymion's expression was halfway between disgust and amusement. "You ate paste? The kind that came in plastic jars with the wand it in?"

"In kindergarten, yeah." More stares. "What?"

Jadeite threw the orange marker at Nephrite's chest. "You were the paste-eating kid, weren't you?"

"Hell yes I was the paste-eating kid; that shit was great. I think I ate an entire jar once on the playground." He quickly huffed the light blue marker. "What?"

"That's fucking gross, man." Endymion groaned. "Now I'm not sure I want a former paste eater as one of my kings and guardians."

"Shut up. Everyone ate paste in kindergarten."

Jadeite shook his head. "I licked a glue stick on a dare. That's as far as I got."

"I ate a piece of chalk once," Zoisite said, sketching a quick purple star before bringing the marker up to his nose. "Nana freaked out and took me to the hospital. It got me out of school so I ate another piece the next week."

Mercury let out a giggle. "Did you go to the hospital again?"

He capped his marker with a click. "No. She just made the teacher move my desk away from the board."

Nephrite held the red marker up to his face and inhaled. "I think I ate chalk, too. Well, chalk dust. And some pencil shavings."

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Kunzite said, tossing his marker away. "I did kindergarten twice and I never _ate_ my school supplies, you freaks. How did any of you survive to adulthood?"

Endymion reached for the pink marker, wanting to see what the hype was about. "Smells like bubblegum."

"Pink is always bubblegum," Jadeite explained. "The weird one is the light blue one, because it's supposed to smell like mango, which it doesn't, it smells like fruity crap instead."

"Gross, licorice." Zoisite rolled the black marker away. "No one liked this one."

"I liked it," Nephrite said.

"You would, you weirdo paste eater. I wouldn't be surprised if you ate these markers, too." He quickly checked the box. "See, non-toxic. A few of these and a jar of paste and you're all set."

Nephrite turned his attention to Endymion. "You're really enjoying the bubblegum, aren't you?"

Endymion smiled and inhaled again. He had almost forgotten the smell of the candy, how it always reminded him of sunshine and concrete, the beauty of cities that were just recently rebuilding from the rubble.

Nephrite watched him carefully, timed himself, and then darted forward like a snake, pushing the hand that held the marker against Endymion's face, leaving a bright pink streak down his face. Pretty quick for a paste-eater.

"You dick!" He rubbed at his face, his fingers coming away pink. Moments later, his arms were pinned down by Kunzite, who had snuck up behind him and grabbed him in a bear hug. "Ah, you fuck, let me go!"

Mercury made a noise, but didn't stop the other three guardians from grabbing the darker-colored markers and jumping up to join the fray. He tried to bite their fingers as they went to town on his face.

But then, Jadeite got too bold, and reached across Endymion's head and drew a slash mark of dark green down Kunzite's pale hair. "Hey, what the—" He released Endymion's arms: a mistake, as he was unarmed, and the holder of the pink marker turned against him in a flurry of bubblegum scented vengeance. The others quickly followed suit.

Mercury ran across the room and started flickering the light switch like a schoolteacher just as Jupiter entered the room. "What is going on?"

Endymion popped up, his face covered in four different colors of scented marker. He took one last swipe at his attackers, catching Zoisite under the chin with bubblegum ink. "What's going on? Your husband's a paste eater. That's what."


	5. Sunday Morning

OK this is VERY NC17, it's all talk, but dirty talk. This takes place in the **_Economics_** universe, and was a challenge from lovelylytton to do a _Sex and the City _theme...at first, I was going to try and just use a line or put the actual show in it but this ended up better. Like I said, dirty talk so stop now if you are easily offended!

Fixed one word thanks to Ninx, who reminded me that come cannot taste like bleach!

* * *

It was Sunday morning, and Mina was a half and hour late meeting her friends at Makoto's coffee shop to grab brunch. She made a good effort trotting to the corner table where they were gathered, which ultimately turned out to be a huge, painful mistake. Her face involuntarily scrunched into a wince as she sat down.

Raye watched her closely before speaking. "So, how'd you break your pussy?"

Serena coughed into her tea; Makoto, still wearing her work apron, merely opened her mouth and let out a quick laugh. Mina flushed. "How'd you know?"

"You almost screamed in pain when you sat down. I know this shit, was it last night or this morning? Because if that's the reason why you're late…" She glanced down. "I hope you showered before got here, or else poor Mako's going to be sponging off your chair when you leave."

"Yeah, really," Makoto added, nodding quickly at her employee that dropped off a plate of eggs benedict. "You remembered to put your panties back on, right?"

Amateurs. They wanted to play like this? Let them bring it. She reached across the table to grab a packet of sugar. "You guys know I don't wear panties."

Serena's pale eyebrows were white streaks against her rapidly reddening face. Raye noticed, just like she noticed everything. "Are you embarrassed? Serena! I know you're the new guy, but we warned you: nothing gets held back at Sunday brunch. Especially bruised pussies."

"I know, I know!" Serena ran her hands through her silvery hair, not a strand out of place, always perfectly polished. "But, like, this is my _brother _that, you know, she's—"

"She's fucking?" Raye finished for her. "It's OK, I'm fucking _her _brother, and it was only weird for a little while." She stopped, and amended. "OK, it was weird for a while, but now the rule is, you have to imagine we're talking about a random guy that's not your brother, and in fact, just pretend you don't have a brother at all, and it helps you deal a little bit better. I don't know, I don't have a brother; does it work, Mina?"

Mina smirked at her. "Brotherfucker."

Serena dipped her head. "You, too!"

"Touché."

"OK, focus," Raye said, smiling again as she poured herself more coffee. "Tell us the bruised pussy story."

"You can't bruise your pussy," Makoto said. "Vaginas are designed to do some pretty incredible things, you know. They're designed to pass an eight-pound infant through it; you'd be surprised at how well they, uh, perform when they have to. Don't get me wrong; they can tear like a mother, but a regular penis? Can't hurt it that badly."

Mina crossed her legs; the thought of tearing wasn't helping the throbbing ache. "Oh, thanks, now we know how much Noah is packing."

"Please stop before find out how big my brother's…my brother is." Serena gulped. "I can take a lot of new knowledge, but that is just something I don't want to know."

"Fair enough," Raye said. "OK, Makoto, I'm putting you on the spot. You're the only one here with a baby. How and when do you still have sex?"

Makoto put her elbows on the table, not realized that Mina was basing her entire decision to have children on what she said next. "Uh, always when the baby is asleep. Most of the time it's when I wake up in the morning."

"What time do you get up?"

"On work days? Four A.M."

Mina exhaled. "You've got to be kidding. And Noah is OK with this?"

"Yeah, he is."

Raye frowned. "How the hell do you wake him up that early?"

"Oh, I don't wake him up until after we start."

Serena dropped her fork onto her plate as Mina pushed her chair back. "OK, wait, you've _got_ to explain this shit! You don't wake him up until _after_ you're already having sex? How the hell does that work?"

Makoto looked from Serena, who looked astonished, to Mina, who looked perplexed, to Raye, who looked like she was about to burst out laughing, and all three were hanging on her every word. "What? You know, it's early, so I usually start off by myself, and when I'm ready, I just get on top of him and start riding. It takes a few seconds for him to wake up all the way."

"I need some specifics!" Raye demanded. "So, he sleeps naked?"

"Yes."

"And he's got a hard on?"

"Don't all guys in the morning?"

"And he's totally cool with you just climbing up on him and fucking humping him in his sleep in the middle of the fucking night?" Raye clapped her hands as she laughed. "Oh shit, I've got to try this!"

"Brotherfucker!" Mina said again, going over the mechanics in her head and wondering if this scenario could work. Once her pussy healed, of course. She was a hairsbreadth away from asking for a bag of ice.

Makoto put up her hands in surrender and laughed. "Just wait until you guys have kids! You can't just tear off your pants and go at it whenever you need to get off."

"No, it's much better to wait until your husband is sleeping, and then practically rape him." Raye licked her spoon. "So what's his Come Announcement? I don't think you ever told me."

"Come Announcement?" Serena asked, her eyes wide.

Mina reached across the table and patted her hand. "Remember, pretend we're not talking about your brother. Or mine."

"It's what your guy says right before he blows his load," Raye, ever eloquent, explained. "They're usually all the same content, but you get different style. Like, for example, Jason always says 'Baby, I'm going to come', 'Raye, I'm going to come', or 'God, I'm going to come'. So he's either talking to me or God. Or 'Baby' whom I hope is also me. Actually, I hope 'God' is me, too."

"You get that much? Noah just says 'I'm coming', and it's usually, you know, AS he's actually coming, so it doesn't get articulated very well, if you know what I mean." "Serena? Your turn."

She thought a moment. "You know, usually when Darien and I are, uh—"

"Fucking?"

"Yes, thank you, Raye. When we're doing it, he's really, like, gentle with what he says? Like, 'God, you feel so good', or 'This is so intense, baby', stuff like that, and he'll always whisper it."

"What a gentleman," Mina tittered.

"Yeah, but, like, his 'Come Announcement'? Is always really angry! All of a sudden, he'll start yelling something like: 'Shit! Shit! I'm about to come! Fuck!'" She shrugged and sipped her water.

The other girls nodded. "He's a got an Angry Come Announcement." Makoto proclaimed. "That's normal."

Raye turned to the blonde sitting next to her, who was staring intently at her coffee cup. "I notice you're not sharing with us, Ms. Bruised Pussy. C'mon, we've all overshared. Your turn."

Mina wondered if they'd believe the truth. "Kevin doesn't have a Come Announcement."

Makoto snorted. "Bullshit."

"No, he really doesn't! I'm not lying."

Raye shook her head. "I don't think I've ever been with a guy who didn't say something. How do you know when he's about to pop?"

She glanced sympathetically at the petite girl across the table. "Serena, cover your ears. He just, you know, starts going really, really fast, and really, really hard, and then he can't close his mouth or breathe." She stuck her fork in Raye's eggs and took a bite. "Then it gets really rough and I just have to hang on, and when he shoves really far and stops moving, I know he came, or he's coming. And when he starts relaxes and breathes again, I know he's done. It's not like rocket surgery, guys." Serena's mouth was hanging open. "What? I told you to cover your ears!"

"I know, I know." The small girl sighed and reached for her cup of tea. "It's just a lot to take in at once while I'm eating. Next thing I know, you're going to tell me what his jizz tastes like or something."

Mina blinked. "Sea water and egg whites."

"Vinegar and chlorine," Raye added.

"Salt and warm skin," Makoto said.

Serena dropped her cup to the table. "I guess I asked for that one. So, anyway, Mina, how did you break your pussy?"

Raye guffawed. "Your brother fucked the shit out of her. What do you think happened?"

* * *

Mina was sprawled on the couch, sketching the delicate inner folds of an orchid, when he came home. "Hey," she called softly, lifting her head for a kiss. "How was basketball?"

"All right. We got bored and started a slam-dunk contest. Dwight Howard, I am not. How was brunch?"

She popped up, her eyes bright. "I found out what Darien's Come Announcement is!"

"What?"

"Darien's Come Announcement. What he says right before he comes. Your sister told me."

Without saying a word, he stood up and left the room.


	6. Complex Complex Adjective Noun

Written for SM_Monthly May Challenge 2009 : Marriage

Crystal Tokyo setting.

The twilight sky was gray and purple.

The birds chirping and squawking in the ancient tree outside of her window were obliterating any shred of concentration that she had left. Rei thought briefly of sending up a noise bomb to send them scattering when her three-year old son sidled up to her desk, tugged on her skirt, and announced that he loved her, very, very much, and when he was bigger, they were going to get married.

Rei took a break from tracking the erupting volcano in the Philippines and turned to the dark haired boy who was staring up at her with unabashed love in his eyes. Her "little surprise" never stopped surprising her. "We are?"

He also informed her that she had no choice in this matter because he had already decided.

She kept her face neutral, unsure if it was appropriate to laugh. "Thank you, darling, I love you too. But we can't get married, it's not allowed."

Lies! Lies and slander! "Noooo." He rested his chin on her leg and asked for further clarification. "Why?"

"Because." Internally, she facepalmed; she had always hated that explanation when her grandfather had tossed it her way. But there was no way in Hades that she was going to get into the logistics of it, especially when he pressed his face into her leg, clearly suffering at this new piece of information. He asked why again, his voice muffled and miserable.

A better explanation came to her like a lighthouse beacon. "Because it's against the law."

He picked up his head and looked up at her, his eyes twinkling under the fringe of dark lashes. What cruel dictator made that absurd law? "Who said dat?"

She thought it beneficial to pass the buck in this situation. "The King."

Loki's face brightened. This was easy! All he had to do now was ask the King if he would change the law! It happened all the time, his father had said; and since the King was his uncle, he would be happy to change such a ludicrous, archaic law that was preventing him from entering into marital bliss with his mother! They could go right now!

The words got tangled on the way out of his mouth, and he had to repeat himself several times before his mother understood what he was asking. Rei sighed. "How about tomorrow we'll go see Uncle Dimi, alright, sweetie? It's almost your bedtime, and you still need to take a bath."

O tortuous, wretched soap and water! "NO BATH."

"Yes bath," Rei said, scooping up him up before he had a chance to run away, and carried his wriggling body to the bathroom at a sideways angle, which kept him disoriented enough to keep from struggling in earnest. She knew his tricks.

He screamed as she aimed the shower spray over his head. This potential marriage was not off to a great start.

Rei toweled him off and forced him to brush his teeth, which was a fifteen-minute, foam-filled process that she usually took over before the end. Loki sulked as she pulled his pajamas on, and she thought that perhaps he had dropped his plan and that she was in the clear.

No such luck. When his father entered his room, Loki bluntly announced his engagement and upcoming nuptials while hugging one of Rei's legs.

"Oh yeah?" Jadeite winked at Rei and pried their son off her leg. "But your mom is already married to me."

So? The paternal unit would have to be relocated to another domicile, ideally with both siblings in tow. Maybe under the new relaxed standards, they could also enter a domestic civil union. "Daddy you go live anodder house."

"All by myself?"

"No wid Clio an-and _Callie_." Especially Callie, that vicious harpy. That will teach her for narcing on him when all he wanted to do was see how many bubbles he could make using a full bottle of shampoo and the toilet.

Rei busied herself in the closet to hide her grin as Loki explained his plan to petition the King to remove incest laws so that he could marry her. When he was much older, of course. Maybe next year.

"Next year? That's kind of soon. What about Critter and Pai?"

Ugh. The canines. Forever licking and sniffing at him, and stealing the prime real estate in his bed. "Dey go wid you."

"But I'll be sad if I can't live with you and Mommy."

He gave his father a look. "You-you can come anb vizzit. Sumbtimes. When _I_ say so."

* * *

She waited until they were in bed that night before asking. "Should we worry?"

Jadeite yawned and pulled her closer. "Nah. All little boys have that phase."

"What? Of marrying their mothers?" Rei said, mildly freaked out by this revelation. Goddess, what if he got this from his father?

"Mothers, teachers, babysitters. Older women. They grow out of it."

"I thought it was just a Freudian joke."

"Kids are weird. C'mon, Nephrite ate freaking paste in kindergarten." He let out a low chuckle in the darkness. "Please tell me how it goes with Endymion. I wish to Goddess I could be there to see him bust a nut laughing."

* * *

The King didn't lose it, at first. When they arrived, he pulled Loki on his lap behind his giant desk and listened patiently to the unusual request.

"Your mother? Really?" The King's smile was spreading to every corner of his face.

Yes, his mother. Didn't he realize that she was the most beautiful creature on this sad planet, a dazzling jewel in the bleak fog of life, benevolent and soft and smelling like whispering midnight? "I love Mommy."

"I said that he couldn't since it's against the law." Rei narrowed her gaze on Endymion, who, annoyingly, was grinning back at her. "And the King sets the laws."

"I do?"

"Yep!" Loki finished for him. The King fixed his face in concentration.

"And it's up to me to change them? Really? Me?"

"Yes," Rei hissed between clenched teeth. _C'mon, Dimi, I haven't got all day. Let him down already._

"Well." The King picked Loki up and set him on his desk, his face very grave. "Hmm."

Loki didn't dare breath.

Uncle Dimi flashed a huge smile. "Why not!"

"WHAT?" Rei shouted, at the same time Loki let out a triumphant "Yay!"

"What, Rei?" Endymion lazily waved his hand, and a thick sheet of paper with lavender embossing appeared on the surface of the desk. He laughed at Rei's horrified expression. "OK, buddy, I'm going to sign this, and then you and your mother can get married," he checked his watch. "As of noon today, year three hundred seventy of Crystal Tokyo…say, do you want to me to put anyone else in this? Or just you?"

Loki banged his heels against the desk. All others be damned!

Although, it wouldn't be fair to keep this wonderful privilege to himself; after all, he was expected to share his toys, so perhaps he could extend the same courtesy to Erie, Andy, and Cherie. Their mother, his Aunt Mina, was quite attractive herself, although she had recently gotten a very fat stomach. Undoubtedly one of her children would look past this transgression and be willing to marry her.

The King put those provisions in, signed it in purple ink, and pressed his seal into the paper, where it glowed briefly before settling in.

Loki was practically hysterical. "MOMMY LOOK!"

"What did you do that for?" Rei demanded, as Loki grabbed her hand and started jumping around like a grasshopper.

Endymion settled back in his chair and put his hands behind his head; Rei resisted the urge to smack the grin off of his face. "What? We'll whip it out and embarrass the snot out of little Oedipus here when he turns sixteen and brings his first girlfriend home. Have fun on your honeymoon, Mommy."

She threw him a disgusted look and escorted her ecstatic son from the King's office.

* * *

The next week, Loki pressed his face into the Queen's neck and declared his undying love for her, and his intention to marry her, if only the King would be so kind as to change the law for him, again. It should be no problem.

The King refused that request.

Aunt Setsuna, then.


	7. Four Legs and a Tail

Title: Four Legs and a Tail

"Mom?"

She lifted her head at the sound of her son's voice. "Yes darling?"

"Was that for me?" Kunzite's voice, but not his image, came through her communicator. The reception had been flickering off and on from his position out in the field, somewhere along the Tigris River. It wasn't a good sign, and she was itching to get out there and assess the area.

"No, it's Marcus. Hold on one second." Minako pulled her ponytail out and began to retie it as she faced her soon-to-be seven-year-old son. "What's the matter?"

He took a deep breath, his bright blue eyes landing everywhere except on her face. "Can I have a cat for my birthday?"

His birthday was in a week, and he had been talking about it for months after the King told him that seven was a lucky number, and that he would never again have as much fun in his entire, extensive life as his seventh year. Just another one of the many things she had Endymion to thank for; Marcus was intelligent, but incredibly naïve in some respects, and it had taken them weeks to convince him that pigeons didn't really thirst for human blood. Or that he would grow horns on his sixteenth birthday.

She had an answer for him right away. "No."

He had probably imagined a very different outcome, because he squirmed like a downed electric line. "Moooom! Why?"

The real reason was because after years with Artemis, she would be Goddess-damned if she ever shoveled cat turds out of another litter box, but she chose a different tactic to let him down. "Because we're going to have a baby next year. You know that."

He threw himself across her lap, desperate in his misery. "We don't _need_ another baby! We already have Felix!"

She reached down to stroke his soft, butter-blonde hair. "Sorry, love, it's not up to us."

His face was pressed against her thighs, and his next words affirmed that he forgot that there was an open communication. "Dad said I could."

Kunzite's voice came through on the other end of the line, his tone dangerous. "Dad said nothing of the sort."

Minako frowned. "Marcus, what did we tell you about lying?"

"I'm sorry!" He lifted his head, and his plainly miserable expression made a chip of ice in her chest fall away. "This isn't fair! I don't have anything that wasn't someone else's!" He pulled at his shirt, which Minako recognized as one of Erie's old ones. "All my toys were someone else's, all my t-shirts, my backpack…Mom, you said I could get a new one and you gave me Andy's old one! I'm sick of getting everything after everyone's done using it. I want something that's mine first."

That was true. But around that time, a famine had threatened a huge chunk of the Middle East, an unspecified threat against the Queen emerged that had never been completely eradicated, and Felix had developed some sort of allergy that caused him to get violently ill before they could diagnose it. Marcus's new backpack had been lost in the shuffle, and only now she realized how much it meant to him.

She was ashamed. Marcus had never asked for anything before; he was too cheerful, too pleasant, and accommodating to a fault. A sweet boy, always smiling, and so different than independent Erie, introverted Andy, headstrong Cherie, and curious Felix. He tended to get lost amongst the stronger personalities and dominating physicality of his siblings.

But she was the mother, and he could not see her weakening just yet. "Your father and I will discuss it." She cupped her hand under his chin and lifted his face to hers. Blue eyes, just like her own, stared back at her. "Did you finish cleaning your room?"

"Um."

She sighed. "You were supposed to have it done by tonight."

"I know, but—"

"No 'buts'. Go. I'm going to come and check in a half an hour, and you'd better be almost finished."

"Mom—"

"Marcus, _now_."

He shuffled off to straighten his room filled with hand-me-downs. Minako waited until the door was shut before speaking. "What do you think, love?"

Kunzite was silent for a few moments, and she knew that the cogs were turning in his head. "Did we really forget the backpack?"

"Yes." She let her head fall to the desktop. A dizzying remnant of morning sickness twisted in her stomach. "And we got Cherie that slingshot she wanted for her birthday."

"A cat is not a slingshot."

"They both do a lot of damage, though." She lifted her head and leaned it against her elbow, rubbing her face with her palm. "I just don't want to have to take care of the damned thing. All the litter boxes, and hairballs, and stinky cat food…plus the new baby. It would just be too much."

"It may be a good way to teach him responsibility. And he's right: I don't think he even has a pair of underwear to call his own."

She sighed; it looked like they were getting another addition to the family along with the one that was already on deck, whether she liked it or not. "It doesn't sleep in Marcus's room. That place is a pigsty as it is."

"Fair enough."

"And I'll let the thing starve to death before I open another can of cat food."

"I don't doubt that you will."

* * *

Kunzite took him to pick out his new pet the day before his birthday, while Minako stayed home and drank gallons of orange juice. She had been craving citrus fruit for weeks.

She had just opened another carton when they returned. It fell to the floor with a crash, chugging sticky orange liquid across the tiled floor.

It took her a moment to find her voice. "What the _hell_ is that!?"

Marcus grinned and stroked the scaly green back of his new pet. "I was going to get a kitten but I got this instead."

Kunzite reached down and picked up the emptying juice container. "You spilled this."

She gaped at the creature perched on her son's arm, its tail coiled around like a fiddlehead fern. Its eyes were black pinpricks in bulging sockets, which seemed to be moving independently from each other as it took in its new surroundings. "It has horns!" she screamed.

The other children had come rushing into the kitchen to bear witness to the commotion. Cherie's jaw dropped as she threw herself closer. "Oh, wow, Marcus, you got a dinosaur!"

He swelled with pride as he held his arm up. "It's not a dinosaur, it's a Jackson's Chameleon. I get to feed him crickets."

"Want one, too!" Felix cried, reaching up to grab at the chameleon. Kunzite intercepted him with one hand.

"Felix, that's Marcus's pet. You will not touch it unless you ask him first."

Minako grabbed Andy and held him in front of her like a shield. "Oh my Goddess, that thing is horrifying!" The chameleon locked a beady eye on her, and opened its mouth, and she screamed at the sight of all the pink tissue. "AH! It's mouth opened! Get it away from me!" She peered around Andy's body and locked eyes with Kunzite. "What in the hell were you thinking?"

He shrugged. "He wanted the lizard."

"It's not a lizard, it's an evil freaking demon straight from hell!" She started backing away, her feet sloshing through the spilled juice. "Don't get it near me! Marcus, it's going to live in your room, understand? You will not bring it out for any reason whatsoever unless to bury it, am I clear?"

Even her hysterical scolding couldn't break his good mood. "Yep, OK Mom!"

She hit the counter with her back and tried to stabilize her heart rate. "Oh my Goddess, I'm never going in your room again. Sorry, honey, but not while that creature is living in there."

Behind the throng of kids, she heard Kunzite chuckle. "I think that was part of the appeal."

By the time Marcus was ten, his room contained another Jackson's, a collared lizard, two corn snakes, a leopard gecko, a common tortoise, and a pacman frog. Minako never got closer than the doorway.


	8. Practical Use

Title: Practical Use

Setting: Crystal Tokyo

* * *

Cherie decided that life wasn't fair when she began playing with the little tents and ended up changing a diaper.

She wasn't really sure what they were for; all she knew is that they were made of cotton material and decorated with little airplanes, and that they made perfect projectiles for her slingshot when she stuck a rubber ball in the tip. Her mother found her standing at the top of the stairs and zinging them through the chandelier.

"Cherie!" Her mother frowned up at her, Dante tucked against her shoulder. "Don't play with those!

She bounded down the stairs towards her mother. "Why?"

"Because those are not for playing. Go pick them up."

Cherie challenged herself to pick all of them up in less than ten seconds. She was off by a few clicks, but decided not to count the last one since it had landed behind a heavy piece of furniture. She tilted her head back and balanced the small blue tent over her nose. "What are they for, anyway?"

Her mother raised her fair eyebrows. "Do you want to find out?"

Five minutes later they were in the nursery with Dante lying on a padded quilt on the floor on his back, and Cherie was trying to work his diaper off without getting any of its contents on her. "Mom, this smells."

"Yours smelled too."

"No they didn't." It was a weak response, but she couldn't think of anything better at the moment. Dante began fussing, his cries remarkably loud for such a small, bald pink thing. "Be quiet, Dante."

He fell silent. Minako hid her smirk; Cherie had some strange power over her youngest brother, which did come in handy sometimes, especially during midnight crying jags when he refused to be consoled by anyone other than his blonde whirlwind of a sister. The bond between them was closer than any of the other siblings, likely because Cherie had been present at his birth, and was the second person in his life to hold him. She sometimes wondered if the little guy had his channels crossed and thought that Cherie was his mother.

Cherie finally worked the diaper open. "Yucko! Why is it always yellow?"

"Because he can't eat solid food yet," Minako explained patiently as she rolled up the soiled diaper and handed Cherie a tent. "Put this on him."

"On where? On his peen?"

Minako wondered which brother or cousin taught her that word. "Yes. If he makes pee when you take his diaper off, it will keep it from shooting on you." After five boys, she finally wised up and used the stupid cones, which she thought was a gag gift from Ami before witnessing the successful execution of their intended function.

Cherie looked horrified and she put the tent into position. "Dante, you will _not_ pee on me when I am changing you! Ew, I was touching these! I put it on my _face!_"

Minako decided not to reveal to Cherie that they were reusable. "Now you know not to play with them." She shook her head, wondering what the appeal was for kids to play with things that were obviously not toys. Felix had a thing for rolling pins, and Marcus was forever finding pieces of metal to bend. "Hold up his legs and wipe him down."

The girl held her baby brother up by one foot and gingerly wiped him down with the damp cloth. Her gray eyes were wide from the sheer amount of waste in the loaded diaper. "How does he manage to poop all over, Mom?"

"He's talented," she replied dryly, passing her daughter another cloth. "Make sure you get all of it."

Cherie did her best, shushing him when he started to fuss again. He was rather displeased about being pantless and on display to two blonde women, both much older than himself. "Quiet, you! He's being a baby about this, Mom."

"He is a baby, Cherie." She held out a can of powder. "Careful with this."

"How much?"

"Just a shake or two."

"Say when." Cherie's hand tipped over, and there was a miniature blizzard on Dante's bottom. "Oops."

"Little too much there, love. Wipe some of it off."

Dante moaned and started kicking his tiny legs, sending Cherie into a tizzy. "AH oh no! His tent came off! He's going to pee on me!"

"Cherie," Minako sighed. "Just put it back on." She handed over a clean diaper. "And slide this under him."

Cherie's brow was furrowed in concentration as she lifted the baby up and slid the diaper underneath. "He won't stop moving. Be quiet, Dante!"

"You're in charge here, Cherie," Minako reminded her daughter. Cherie steeled her jaw exactly like her father did, and wrestled the cloth diaper onto her baby brother with the artful finesse of a laundress at task. A few clicks of the snaps, and she was done.

"Hey, I did it!" Cherie announced, fastening the snaps on the inside of his romper. "Mom, look!"

"I see," Minako said, smiling at her daughter.

"And he didn't pee on me!"

"This time, darling."

* * *

A half an hour later, Cherie poked at Dante's diaper and let out a screech. "Moooom! He wet himself already!"

She was just about to come over to take the baby for changing when Cherie passed her, toting her brother in her arms. "Where are those tents? I have to change the baby." She marched down the hall, and seconds later Minako heard her yell again. "Felix! Gimme that! Those aren't your toys, they are PEE TENTS and they are very, very important!"

* * *

Neo-Sailor Venus scoped out the landscape with a practiced eye, watching for any sudden changes in the topography. The ground was still unsteady from the quake, and the inhabitants of that region were nervous around any outward displays of power.

At least it wasn't a volcano.

Behind her, her brother, call sign "Malachite", a prince of the Middle Eastern kingdom and a warrior in his own right, was growing impatient. "Sailor Venus." She turned to him. "It's safe, let's get down there."

She turned away. "It's safe when I say it's safe."

"It is safe!" She could feel him rolling his eyes behind her back. "For Goddess sake, Cherie, why won't you listen to me?"

All this time, and he still whined whenever he didn't get his way. Neo-Venus slanted her eyes and continued her watch. "I don't listen to anyone whose diapers I changed. Now shut up, Dante."


	9. Et Tu

Title: Et tu

Setting: Crystal Tokyo

* * *

"Daddy!"

The royal palace of Crystal Tokyo was an impressively huge structure: a sprawling domicile of towers and courtyards spread out on a massive estate. One could spend hours walking the corridors and paths and not see even a fraction of its magnificence. Since the formative years of his early life were spent in a variety of boxlike apartments in a range of crappiness, Endymion was usually grateful for the opulence.

Except now.

He could hear her plaintive cry through the halls of this crystalline structure, and it sent him running. It was dark now, and Goddess only knew what the night could bring, especially to the royal family. Experience had taught him that it was never completely safe.

His little girl sat in the middle of her bed, tangled in her pink and white nightgown with the pattern of stars on it. Her favorite. She was cowering behind her Lunaball, which glowed slightly in the near darkness, and at the present moment, seemed to be in no imminent danger.

He crossed the room in a few long strides; an impressive feat considering her bedroom was the size of a small gymnasium. Her bed was draped with silver and white canopy, and he dropped into it and gathered the small child in his arms. "What's the matter, darling? What's wrong?"

She sniffed and pushed her face into his side. "There's a monster in my room."

A normal, human parent would think nothing of this announcement, but the King of the Earth was a little more apprehensive. A quick scan proved it unfounded, save for a little girl's overactive imagination. Still, part of the job was destroying any and all monsters, including those who were imaginary. "That's all right, sweetheart. There's not a monster I can't kill." He stood up and knocked several stuffed animals to the floor. "Now where is he?"

She whimpered as he dropped his knees and ducked his head under her bed. "Hmm, he's not down here. I think he's afraid of me."

He checked behind the curtains next. "Nope, nothing here. We've got him running, darling."

"Daddy, he's still in here!" Rini whimpered miserably. "I can't sleep with a monster in my room!"

"I know, I know." Endymion used a quick burst of power to levitate the giant pile of toys stacked in a corner, revealing the slightly dusty carpet beneath. He grunted; tomorrow he'd have her room cleaned out thoroughly. "Well, he's not here." He turned the light down and moved back to the bed. "Rini, there's no monster in here. And if there was one, he's gone now."

She didn't look convinced. He sighed; it was getting late, and if she didn't go to sleep soon, she'd be miserable come morning. "Time for you to go back to sleep."

Her gaze shifted nervously around the room, and it dawned on Endymion that this entire scene was a stalling tactic to avoid going to bed. He wouldn't put it past her; she was a clever one, and his heart swelled with equal parts pride and annoyance.

Suddenly, she pulled the sheet completely over her head so that she looked like a miniature ghost. "He's still in here, Daddy!"

He pulled the sheet down. "No, he's not, Rini. Time for sleep now."

"But Daddy--!" She gave him one last miserable look. "What if he gets me?"

"He's not going to get you honey. He's gone."

"No, he's not!" She sounded slightly hysterical. "He's in my closet and if you leave he's going to get me!"

Endymion stood up from his daughter's bed. "OK, I'll check the closet, and then you have to go to bed. No argument."

That seems to mollify her. She nodded. "Daddy, be careful!"

He ran a hand through his hair as he made his way to the closet door. "What did I tell you, sweetie? There's not a monster on Earth that I can't defeat."_ A monster from space or another dimension; now that's different,_ he thought_._ He turned with one hand on the knob, and caught her bristling with what seemed to be barely concealed terror. "I guarantee you that he'll be gone when I open this door."

She trembled and nodded, her expression squirming through apprehension and surprisingly, glee. Endymion glowed with pride. So far, fatherhood had been a rollercoaster of emotion, and he knew that he would look back fondly at the time when he was the hero to his little girl.

He turned the knob and swung the door open. "Look—there's nothing in here but **gaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAH**!"

The King of Earth, caught off guard, could do nothing but mindlessly scream for a moment as the monster jumped out at him, a monster with flashing green eyes and curly blonde hair. The scream that emitted from him was almost operatic in its delivery; it started as a hysterical shriek from high in his diaphragm, but picked up in pitch and intensity as the adrenaline lightening-rushed through his system and out of his lungs.

Typically, the "monster" would have been a smoldering pile of ash by now, but the King of Earth settled for gasping in a breath and taking a swing at its head. "You--! Zoisite!"

Zoisite deflected the blow and fell to his knees, clutching his sides as he collapsed in side-splitting laughter. "Oh—oh Goddess! You—screamed!" He sucked in a wet breath and fell on his side, literally rolling with laughter. "I don't—I don't believe you…HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA."

Endymion's face started burning as he kicked Zoisite in the side; the hysterical man barely even registered it. "You---CRETIN." There were stronger words he wanted to use, but his daughter was in the room. His daughter who, unbelievably, had dissolved into hysterical giggles on her bed, all worries about monsters vanished completely from her mind.

And he watched, horrified, as Zoisite crawled to the side of her bed and held up his palm for her to slap. "Good job—oh Goddess hold on—hahahaaaaaaaa—good job kiddo!"

They exchanged a high-five, Zoisite still bent over and laughing. Rini fell on her back and kicked her feet against the mattress. "We got you Daddy! We got you!" Zoisite fell back to the floor as they laughed for a solid minute, Endymion standing there like a mute statue. "Uncle Zoi—we got Daddy so good!"

"Yes," he gasped, starting to choke. "Oh Goddess, Dimi, your face!"

He wasn't laughing when Endymion delivered a solid blow to his kidneys and then threw him out of the palace.

The Queen was brushing her hair at her vanity when he returned to their bedroom. "Everything all right, love?"

Endymion stomped over to the bed and sat down. "She's fine; everything's fine. Nothing to worry about. Let's go to bed."

Serenity paused for a moment while pulling a hairpin out. Her cobalt eyes glittered as she tried to suppress her smile. "Really? No…monsters in the closet or anything?"

The King of Earth pulled the covers up over his head and wondered what he had done to deserve this kind of betrayal.


	10. Soaking Wet and Freezing Cold

Title: Soaking Wet and Freezing Cold

Setting: SilMil

* * *

The setting of the sun did nothing to alleviate the stifling heat, but it did nothing to alleviate their desire and intensity as they moved together on top of his covers, their bodies slick with sweat. Venus felt a drop of moisture start at her forehead and roll down her scalp underneath her hair, a sensation that she had never felt before on the temperature-controlled moon. She ignored it and concentrated on his body on top of hers, and in her, and the heat of the room faded away as she drew closer to her climax.

Afterwards, they lay inches apart, panting with the heat and exertion. The sweat lay on the tops of their skins like a film; there was too much humidity in the air for it to evaporate.

Kunzite reached forward and pulled a damp section of hair off of her face. "Sorry about the heat. It's not usually this bad; we're going through a heat wave or something, and it's been unreal." He smiled, halfway. "I can't take you out in the daytime until it passes. You'll burn to death."

She stared into his stormy eyes and refrained from mentioning that she was burning to death now in the stifling deathtrap of a room.

She sat up, brushing off a sheet that was clinging to her. "Can I do something?"

His eyes flickered. He still harbored a small amount of suspicion about magic, even as he learned from her to control his own. "Sure."

Her hair was sticking damply to her back like wet wool; for the first time in her life she felt how heavy it was. "I learned this from Mercury."

"All right." That did nothing to alleviate his fears. Zoisite was learning quickly from the blue-haired guardian, and he had confessed to her that he was nervous about Zoisite's temperament with his new power.

She looked to the ceiling and blinked, feeling the power flow through her like cool water. At first, it appeared that nothing happened, and then the first flake fell gently from a blank point on his ceiling. That flake was followed by another, and then many more, and soon there was a gently swirling snowstorm falling around them. The snowflakes melted as soon as they touched the surface of their nude bodies.

He smiled at her. "I think I like this one." He reached and pulled her close, and they began their dance again, in the middle of the swirling snowflakes. Their breath came in visible plumes, and they didn't stop touching each other until it was time for her to leave.

* * *

He woke up the next morning soaking wet and freezing cold.

Days later, the heat hadn't stopped burning away comfort in the daytime, and the cloying, sticky nights were almost worse. She could feel it the moment she arrived on Earth, the familiar blast of heat and stickiness choking her through her clothes.

He was waiting for her in his common room, but it looked a bit…different. For some reason, his bed had been dragged in, along with other random pieces of furniture that formerly resided in his bedroom. Taking her by the hand, he pulled her over to the bedroom door. "I need to show you something."

"What's going on?" She tripped and almost stumbled into a chest of drawers that was in her way.

"You'll see," he muttered, opening the door to his bedroom and ushering her inside.

She blinked at the sight.

Flurries of snowflakes were still falling from the ceiling, swirling and melting from the heat seeping in from the open door. A foot of frozen snow covered the floor, packed down wetly in spots by at least three different sizes of footprints. Next to the window, someone had rolled together a mound of snow and shaped it into a crude bench. Against the other wall, a lumpy snowperson about four feet high sported perfectly round breasts made from snowballs. The window glass was covered with silver frost, into which someone had written "DIMI WAS HERE LONG LIVE THE KING!!" and under that "I ----KED ZOIS MOM" with the first half of one of the words blurred by a furious swipe.

She took one tentative step into the icy slush, her cheeks pink. "I forgot to turn it off."

"Yes, you did."

Her smile was a shade below sheepish. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right."

"No, it's not I ruined your—"

"I said it's all right," he said, the small half-smile returned as she swept her arm upwards. The falling snow tapered and stopped. "As you can probably tell, we made use of it."


	11. Wink Nudge

Title: Wink Nudge

Setting: Crystal Tokyo

* * *

They watched the news feed from their bed, the same way they did every night: laying down together, with Minako's head leaning against Kunzite's chest, feeding Dante one last time before putting him down, when the story broke about a popular thespian in the fledgling film industry publicly announcing the name of her first child: London Chaise, after the city and piece of furniture he was conceived in and on, respectively.

"What?" Minako snorted. "She can't be serious."

He shifted around underneath her to put his hand behind his head. "How gauche."

"Goddess, could you imagine if we did that to Erie?" she wondered aloud. "His name would be 'Serenity's Music Room'!"

He gave her a sideways glance, his eyes smiling. "More specifically, 'Piano Bench'."

Her giggle startled Dante; she stroked his back to get him sucking again. "You've got the photographic memory. What about Andy?"

"Huh. He would be 'Picnic Blanket on Ground with Erie Sleeping Three Feet Away'."

She groaned. "You're right. Let's not have either of them ever discover that little gem or they'll both be in therapy for the rest of their lives."

"Should we tell Cherie that she could have been 'Kitchen Floor'?"

Dante was slowing down, so Minako reached down and gently broke the suction, and switched him to her other breast. "You mean 'My Father Had Too Much Scotch'."

He nudged her. "Don't play innocent. She could easily be 'Mother Was Insanely Hormonal and Didn't Want to Bother Ascending Stairs'." He crossed his legs and stretched out, yawning. "I even remember what you said. '_I don't care if I get pregnant; just do me on the kitchen floor!_'."

She tried to put her best innocent face on, but he nudged her in the side anyway. Dante whined as his source of food began shaking as his mother started laughing again. "You could have refused, you know."

"How could I refuse you when you were tearing my pants off?" She shrugged, trying to play coy. "Plus you're right, I had too much scotch."

She raised an eyebrow, even though he couldn't see. "Lucky for Cherie her father was just drunk enough that he could still…perform."

"Lucky for Cherie that her mother was pulling off her clothes in the kitchen and her brothers were asleep upstairs."

"So really she could be 'Too Much Alcohol and Mother Was Open to Idea of Third Child'."

"Open? When you were throwing up in the bathroom two months later, you yelled at me for getting you pregnant when we already had Irish twins."

She glanced down to check on Dante. "Sorry about that, love. Marcus?"

"Marcus…Marcus," he thought aloud.

She snapped her fingers. "Marcus was at the Global Agriculture Summit. The one in Switzerland, during a break."

"Ah," he remembered. "So what? 'Thirty Minute Break Between Meetings?"

"Or 'Stateroom Quickie'. Whatever causes the most mental damage."

"I don't think anything can beat 'Picnic Blanket' for the most mental damage right now."

"I'm not so sure. What about Felix?"

"Uh, easy one. 'Shower'. That's the only privacy we had back then."

"Hmm. Kind of fitting that he was born in the bathtub, then." She sat up, dislodged the baby from her breast, and started rubbing his back to burp him as she leaned against the headboard. "Full circle."

"Full circle would be if he died on the toilet."

She kicked at him, her foot connecting with the side of his ribcage. "Our son is not going to die on the toilet! And even if he does, by that time we won't be around to know."

"I hope so." He yawned again, rubbing his hands over his face. The news feed went dark as he turned the screen off. "Is he almost finished?"

"Almost." She checked his diaper: still dry. _Good_. "Dante, baby. Aren't you glad we didn't name you something stupid? Hm, baby?" He lazily spit up on the burp cloth draped over her shoulder. "I'll take that as a yes." She mopped off his mouth and laid him gently face down on Kunzite's bare chest. "Say goodnight to Daddy."

He reached over and cupped the tiny body with his hand. "Goodnight, uh, 'Bed'." He opened his eyes. "That's really all there is to this one, huh? Not very exciting."

Minako grinned, stretching her arms over her head, and gave him one of her old Sailor V winks, the one that crinkled her face into a snap of amusement and mischief. "I beg to differ." She leaned over and kissed Dante's head. "Goodnight, 'Doggystyle'."


	12. Snowballs

Snowballs

Despite the layers of white ermine she was stuffed into, shivers wracked the Princess's petite frame as she crouched behind Endymion's form. Her breath was billowing in plumes in the winter air, and she blinked away the cold, fat snowflakes that were falling in her eyes. Snow was gathering on her shoulders, and his, but she was hesitant to make any move. The courtyard of the Elysian palace was buried under a layer of white, the amount increasing with each passing moment, and under ordinary circumstances, would make for a picturesque winter scene in the dim afternoon light.

She swallowed nervously and gripped the Prince's shoulder. "Dimi, I'm scared," she whispered.

"Shh," he hushed her as he surveyed the scene. The stone fountain in the center of the court was a stronghold, he was sure of it. A quick sweep of the area proved disheartening; the enemy covered their tracks well. No footprints, no sounds, nothing out of place in the stillness of the snow-covered courtyard. They could be ambushed from any angle with no warning.

"It's not safe here," he assessed. Behind him, Serenity let out a low squeak.

"We should go back!"

"No." They would have to cross an open area and risked an attack from above.

"Dimi…"

He turned to her. She was so small, her cobalt eyes wide and frightened under a fringe of white fur. She was biting her lip in a way that made him want to pull her close and kiss her beautiful mouth, and the flakes of snow caught her in eyelashes, and the smooth skin of her white throat, and not stop. But this was not the time. "Serenity, don't be scared."

"But—"

"Don't." With that word, he pulled her close to whisper in her ear. "Don't be frightened, my love. I know it all seems hopeless, but I promise you, I will _not _let anything hurt you, I swear on it. We'll get out of this."

She nodded, but didn't seem convinced. "We're outnumbered!"

"I know. It seems bleak, my love, but don't lose hope: I'll protect you. I will _not_ let those creatures win, do you understand?"

Finally, she appeared to relax. "I trust you, love."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and turned back to the scene. "Stay close, and quiet. If we can get past the fountain, and then the gate, we should be able to—"

His words were cut off as a figure sprang out from behind the fountain and launched an attack right at the pair. The snowball caught Endymion a few inches below the belt, instantly dropping him to the ground like a ton of lead.

Nephrite grabbed Serenity by the arm and pulled her away as the Prince of Earth writhed on the ground, groaning and swearing. "You…fucking traitor! Unnngh!"

"Oh no, I am being kidnapped!" Serenity said dramatically as she jogged to keep up with the huge man pulling her away. "Save me, Dimi!"

Nephrite grabbed her head and ducked, and a snowball crashed on the wall above their heads. She turned back around to catch a glimpse of her lover, still tucked in a ball on the frozen ground, moaning about attempted regicide. "Did you have to really have to hit him right there? What if--?"

The Earth guardian turned to her, his right eye swollen shut and turning dark. "He aims for the face, your Majesty. He deserves every crotch-shot he gets."

"Oh, you," she huffed. "Well, it wasn't very nice, anyway."

"Nice has nothing to—AAARGH!" The rest of the sentence was cut off as another figure jumped around the corner and whipped a snowball at his midsection. This time it was Nephrite who was felled like a tree, and Serenity was being yanked away by a cackling ball of blonde energy.

"Are you guys purposely--?"

"Yes!" Zoisite pulled her behind a tree. "This is all-out war, Princess. If you're cheating, you're not winning." He bent down and quickly packed a snowball. "Kunzite's got a high vantage point, that asshole, so keep your head up and be ready to dodge. We're going across the courtyard."

"No! Dimi said that's suicide!"

He rolled his brilliant green eyes. "We have no choice! We only have one shot to break them out, and it's not going to happen if we're hiding out behind this tree. We die fighting or we die like cowards, and they only write songs and poems about one of those."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "I want to go inside and have a chocolate croissant."

"You will have many chocolate croissants after I'm standing over the bodies of my vanquished enemies. Patience, Princess."

The Princess sighed; she was cold, wet, and it was high time to head back inside, eat a few croissants, and roll around naked with Dimi in front of a roaring fire, instead of being a pawn in a penis-crushing tournament. The men of the Moon Kingdom didn't engage in such silly games. Maybe that's why they bored her so much.

Zoisite was holding two snowballs in each hand. "Are you ready, Princess?"

"I guess so. What's the plan?"

"We run like hell and try not to get hit. If you see Jadeite, nail him in the junk with a snowball. Try to make it a direct hit, because he won't stay down if you just clip him on one of the nuts. Better yet, take this one. It has a rock in the middle; it should put him down for the count."

"This is barbaric!"

"Welcome to Earth, Princess. On three!"

At the count, they sprinted across the courtyard, Serenity tripping slightly over her long cloak and trying to keep her head up in case of overhead attack. The passed the fountain, where Jadeite lay on his side, clutching his jewels and moaning, "Pre-emptive strike!"

A snowball hurled out of nowhere and landed in the snow a few feet in front of the Princess; she squeaked and skidded to a halt. Zoisite grabbed her arm and yanked. "No, don't stop!"

The next snowball caught him square in the face, and Serenity's last protector fell to the snowy ground in a heap. Two more landed in quick succession, the first on shoulder, and the other, predictably, square on his crotch. He made a sound halfway between coughing and gasping, and the released his grip on the snowball he had clutched in his hand as he curled up like a hedgehog. The Princess picked it up and turned in slow circles. Snowflakes swirled around her as she tried to spot her enemy.

Zoisite had been right; he had a high vantage point. He landed with a thump right behind her, and she had barely time to jump and squeak again before he was standing in front of her, brandishing a snowball twice the size of hers. She tried her best to force her knees to stop shaking and held up her pathetic snowball.

A cold smile formed on his lips; he knew she was cornered. "Drop it, Princess."

"You drop yours first!"

Kunzite lowered his arm a fraction of an inch. "You're in no position to be making demands right now. You're the last captive. I win."

No sooner did those words pass his lips than a snowball crashed against the back of his head. He stumbled forward, and Serenity took the opportunity to pelt her frozen weapon at his genitals. He fell forward onto his knees, and another cluster of snow hit him in the face. Then another.

Endymion hobbled over, flinging frozen balls at the fallen warrior. He grinned and grabbed Serenity. "That's my girl!" he shouted, kissing her quickly on the cheek and wincing. Walking still posed some difficulty.

The Princess crossed her arms and pouted. "I just want a chocolate croissant already!"

He laughed and kissed her again. "Anything for you." He turned to the cluster of young women huddled in an alcove. "Jailbreak! You're free! Fire at will! Go, go, go!"

They jumped up and started running toward the royal pair. Mars was scowling and shivering in her black furs as she trotted alongside a giggling Jupiter, whose hood had fallen down and released her abundant curls to the breeze. Mercury immediately formed a dozen snowballs and suspended them in the air as a defensive weapon. Venus brought up the rear, her attention on the fallen warrior huddled on the ground.

"Venus, leave him!" Endymion shouted, pulling her away. She turned and followed the others back towards the palace entrance.

The Prince couldn't keep the smug grin off his face as he gimped over to his first in command, who still had made no move to get up. Kunzite groaned. "You bastard."

Endymion picked up a pile of snow, held it over Kunzite's face, and let go. "Here, use this to ice them down. Payback's a bitch, motherfucker!"


	13. Music

Music

He missed the initial gold flash, but he could sense that she had appeared on his balcony anyway. His first instinct was to point her in the direction of Endymion's rooms, where her Princess most likely was situated, or another part of the palace that she hadn't visited in several months, even though she already knew the way.

But he sensed someone else with her, and that presence was the reason he rushed outside as quickly as his feet could take him.

She was waiting at the far end of the balcony; seeming to know that he would come running, and thus purposely positioning herself on the far side to annoy him. Or so he reasoned.

Strands of her golden hair were covering the child's face as he squirmed and fussed. Zoisite's annoyance at the golden Senshi increased exponentially at that. "Are you alone?" he said as he rushed forward to pull the baby out of her arms.

She was good at reading between the lines. "Of course. Mercury is forbidden to come to Earth."

"I know," he replied, his voice full of bitterness. "But you're not."

His attention wasn't on her any more, and she knew it. "I'm not," she echoed hollowly; watching Zoisite run a long, gentle finger down his son's rosy cheek. Once she had been soft, a creature of feeling and warmth, but that was before her baby boy died after only a week of life. Kunzite had just completely shut down. He and Venus didn't talk any more, not after losing their child.

His child, on the other hand, was very much alive, and writhing miserably in his arms. He put the back of his knuckles to Evander's forehead to feel for a fever. "What's wrong? Is he sick?"

Sailor Venus shifted and leaned against the rail. "No. He just…doesn't want to sleep tonight, I guess. Mercury though you might be able to get him down." She blew her bangs away from her face, annoyance crossing her features like a shadow. "Is this going to take very long?"

Zoisite turned from her, carrying his son inside, murmuring to him the entire time. "Shhh…what's wrong, little guy? What's got you so miserable?"

Evander's face creased as he let out a wail; Zoisite threw a quick ward on the door to block the sound from traveling. He paced the floor and rocked his son. Green eyes full of awe and fear and protectiveness met teary newborn ones, and he prepared himself to do whatever possible to stop the tears from coming.

He tucked Evander's head against his shoulder, and let his mind drift, savoring these rare moments. It had been weeks since he had held his child, or laid eyes on the woman who, in a more forgiving world, wouldn't be separated from him by a planet.

He kissed the baby's forehead, humming softly, and the sound seemed to sooth him as cries dissolved into hiccups. "Ah, there you are."

The only song he could think of was from a traveling musician that he and Jadeite had encountered in the island up north in his Kingdom, and other Shitennou had immediately committed both melody and lyrics to memory. The best Zoisite could do was pray that the baby couldn't tell the difference in an accomplished singer, and an off-pitch one, as he started singing softly.

"_Who knows how long I've loved you_

_You know I love you still,  
Will I wait a lonely lifetime,  
If you want me to I will."_

He caught a glance of Sailor Venus peering around the drapes, but he ignored her and continued.

_"For if I ever saw you,  
I didn't catch your name,  
But it never really mattered,  
I will always feel the same."_

He thought about Mercury and her rare, shy smile, and felt his heart tear.

"_Love you forever and forever,  
Love you with all my heart;  
Love you whenever we're together,  
Love you when we're apart."_

Evander's eyes were drifting shut. Zoisite would have moved mountains, swam oceans, or fought armies to keep him here, like this.

"_And when at last I find you,  
Your song will fill the air,  
Sing it loud so I can hear you,  
Make it easy to be near you,  
For the things you do endear you to me,  
oh, you know I will.  
I will."_

He didn't realize that his face was nearly pressed against his child's until Sailor Venus cleared her throat from the corner of the room.

His desperation came out in his voice. "Can't he stay? Just for tonight?"

She didn't bother with sympathy; she had none for him. "No."

"Venus—"

"There's no use pleading," she interrupted, her face as hard and cold as stone. She crossed the distance between them and held out her arms to take the child back.

He resisted punching her; even in top form, with his new magical knowledge, there was no way he could overpower a Senshi, least of all Venus. She eased the sleeping baby from his arms, and turned on her heel without hesitation. They were gone in a flash before he could say goodbye.

He paced the room a few times; the same path that he had taken with his son, over and over again until the floor blurred from hot tears. It was helpless self-pity, but he couldn't stop as he thought about his son's innocent face and Mercury's unshed tears, and before he knew it he was pounding his fist against the unyielding stone wall, leaving bloodstains behind.

Outside his window, the moon rose in the silent sky. Somewhere on it, a young woman cradled her baby against her body and hummed a melody to him, and he thought that maybe, if he strained, he could all but hear it.

The curtains billowed in the soundless night.


	14. Snacktime

Blueberry buckle

Ami scraped the rubber spoon alongside the side of the bowl, gathering more glop and aiming it at her baby daughter's semi-open mouth. Ophelia held the mush on her lips for a moment before pushing her tongue out and dribbling goo down her chin.

Ami sighed and sat up, cracking her neck in the process. Perhaps the baby was too young for this, yet.

She sensed her other baby, who really wasn't a baby anymore, come up from behind her and stop at her arm. "Hi Mommy."

"Hi baby," she murmured, trying again with the baby food. Ophelia had doubled her birth weight in sixth months, could keep her head upright, and was increasing the frequency of her feeding times, but she just was having no part of the watery rice cereal.

"What're you doing?" The top of his curly head came into her view as he leaned over her arm.

"Feeding your sister," she said. "Or, trying to." She smiled down at the sandy spirals.

He stuck out a hand and plunged his finger into the slurry; it was back into his mouth before she could stop him. "Yum!"

"At least someone thinks so," she muttered. Admitting defeat, she unlatched the tray and pulled it sideways and scooped the baby out. With a practiced ease, she unbuttoned her shirt and positioned Ophelia for nursing. The baby latched in seconds and began sucking.

Only after that could she take stock of her older child. "Evander!"

Eyes as green as new grass and innocent as a baby fawn blinked at her. "Yes, Mommy?"

"Why are you naked?"

He shrugged and picked the bowl off of the high chair tray. "I don't like clothes. Can I finish this?"

Ami's mouth was still hanging open when Zoisite entered. "Hey," he said as he tossed his jacket to the ground. His belt was the next to go as he started stripping down. "Snacktime?"

Evander slurped up the baby food. Zoisite pulled off his pants and began searching the cupboards in his drawers.

Ami looked from father to son several times before shaking her head in disbelief.


End file.
